Tuesday 7 May 2013

Anguish

Ever thought about how love could ruin you...or how it could tear you apart and drown you from within.
it's been quite a painful one year..filled with deep sorrows and uninvited barriers. wanting to run away many million times and think about nothing but get away from the pain that kills me every now and then. maybe i'm addicted to being lonely or maybe i just like it that way. i don't seem to understand myself anymore. i can say it's somehow getting better lately with nothing to hold on to but pain...quite psychotic hah!
then this thing happened of continuous academic failure and yeah unproductive years stacked away with nothingness and loneliness how could i stop it? i have no idea...maybe i'm still trying to figure it out!?
at one point i say to myself it's all going to be ok!...and then i wonder is it ever going to be ok?
all that has happened...all the unexplained things that come in and out of my life...i don't seem to understand a bit but i can't complain all the time can i?
this has been the pattern of my life this past few years.
someday i'm gonna figure out a way..i believe! i have to believe yea.